Lonely and Oblivious
by Lavena Liadan
Summary: Some thing is up with Takami but will Sakuraba figure out what it is? And truly understand?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Eyeshield 21, but if I did … oh man, look out if I did.

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_Lonely and Oblivious_

"Takami, what's bothering you?"

Sakuraba plopped down onto the floor in front of Takami. His friend had been looking troubled for the past few days but only now had he found a private moment to pry a little.

Takami glanced at Sakuraba, surprised to see him. He wondered briefly how Sakuraba got into his home, but it was short-lived because the younger man insisted on being persistent and getting the answers he was looking for.

"Stop thinking, Takami," Sakuraba said with a small laugh, "Tell me what you are worrying about."

"I'll be fine, Sakuraba."

"I didn't ask if you'd be fine, you silly boy." Sakuraba mocked, with a smile.

Takami sighed; anger rising very slowly due to Sakuraba's never failing curiosity.

"Oh, don't be such an old man, Takami. You are far too young to be this lethargic."

"Sakuraba, go away, please."

"Nope, not leaving, Takami." The joking in Sakuraba's voice was slipping away, being replaced by frustration and worry.

"You wouldn't understand, Sakuraba. Please, just let it rest." Takami paused and shook his head lightly. "Do you want to go out for lunch or something? Get out of here?"

Sakuraba sighed and stood. "Fine then, let's go for lunch. I know a good place you will enjoy."

Takami smiled softly at Sakuraba and stood as well. He followed the younger man out into the day light. He matched Sakuraba's gait to keep up with him. For the longest time they walked silently, an almost awkward silence of Takami wanting to talk but not, and Sakuraba wanted to push Takami further but contemplating whether or not it would be useful.

Before Takami realized it, they were standing at the doorway to a little restaurant he had never noticed before.

"Does this look alright?" Sakuraba asked as he walked through the door.

"Well, I don't have much of a choice," Takami mumbled, following Sakuraba yet again. It was starting to get to him, his little secret, but he didn't want the guilt and shame of sharing it. Once he shared it, it would be true, right? As soon as someone else knew, there would be no more denying it.

They were seated and were reviewing the menus when Takami suddenly laid his down.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, "I'm sorry for being so depressing. It's just … It's just that I found out something …"

Sakuraba looked up slowly from his menu, concern slowly filling his patient eyes. Takami noticed the concern and believed it to be there because Sakuraba thought something terrible had happened.

"Oh no, not something serious; something stupid …" Takami was looking at the table, refusing to meet Sakuraba's eyes again. He shook his head lightly and Sakuraba watched a tear fall to the table.

Sakuraba moved to sit beside his friend, within distance to, at the least, pat his shoulder reassuringly. He leaned closer to Takami, trying to regain eye contact but Takami turned his head away again.

"Takami, please," Sakuraba whispered in despair for his friend's pain, "What happened?"

"He doesn't love me" was all Takami whispered with a heaving sob that he tried his best to conceal.

Yes? No? Too out of character? Too sappy? Not sappy enough?

Please read and review because reviews make my plot monkeys do back flips which is good


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Eyeshield 21, but if I did … oh man, look out if I did.

It's up when I promised it would be! Keep reviewing and adding your ideas and opinions and it will stay this way! ... depending on how uni goes ...

Thanks to: dittogrrl, nikkon, minoko-chan, aera-chan, and Alina-Cantha for reading and reviewing. They helped to move my plot monkeys along in their creations.

**_imagine a line break_  
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**Chapter Two**

"He doesn't love me."

Sakuraba shook his head in disbelief, "Sorry, what?"

Takami raised his gaze from the table to Sakuraba's eyes and repeated softly, "He doesn't love me."

Still shaking his head, Sakuraba leaned closer to Takami, inquiring as quietly as he could.

"You said, 'he', right?"

Takami nodded slowly, "Wait, no. Ye-no. No … I'm sorry Sakuraba." The older boy stood and stepped away from the table. "I – I have to go, Sakuraba. I - sorry. I can't stay any more." He turned and walked quickly out of the restaurant.

Sakuraba tried to call after him, but got no response. Sighing as he stood, he left enough money to cover the cost of the drinks they had and a tip for not actually ordering food. He then left the restaurant to head home, where he hoped to find some sort of explanation for what was going on.

Takami leaned against the doorway to the weight room where he had gone after leaving Sakuraba in the restaurant watching Shin as he trained. He really hadn't planned on ending up here, but now he was. He admired Shin's perseverance and his drive, he even admired his stoic nature but what he could never understand was how the man could be so neutral all of the time.

"You shouldn't lean for so long. You will strain the muscles in the left side of your body" Shin stated.

Immediately Takami stood a little straighter, chastising himself on the inside for not realizing that. Now, his presence had been acknowledged and he didn't know what to do about it. He wasn't normally shy, not like this. Everything seemed to change with Shin though. Shin wasn't Sakuraba who was always willing to let go a little, to lighten the mood. No, Shin was the one who needed to be lightened, 'freed' as Sakuraba puts it.

"Takami, why are you just standing there?"

Shin's voice shattered his thoughts again, bringing a slight blush to his face.

"I wanted to ..." Takami muttered, shaking his head and turning to leave in order to avoid the embarrassment he was doomed to face. He heard the familiar 'clunk' of Shin releasing his grasp on the bar and placing it on the ground. He turned suddenly as Shin asked him to stop.

"You wanted to what?"

Takami hung his head to avoid the look on Shin's face. It was sheepish, childish and a little bit unnecessary but he couldn't bring himself to ask because he felt he had faced enough embarrassment for the day. It really wasn't any of his business anyway; he just wanted to know if he had a shot.

"Takami?"

He raised his head to see a confused look on Shin's face. He hadn't moved from where he had been before Takami had tried to leave but he had relaxed a little. Takami could feel a blush rising in his cheeks even though what he was there regarding really had nothing to directly do with him – only indirectly.

"I – I … I wanted to know i-if you have feelings for Sakuraba."

Takami felt the blush burning his face and he was sure he looked foolish asking such a seemingly random question. He watched surprise then amusement cross Shin's usually peacefully concentrated face before returning to its usual state.

"No."

**_imagine a line break_**

There we go … a little bit of an update. I apologize for it taking what seemed like forever but I couldn't figure out how to finish it. So I left it just as it is

Let me know what you think!

Comments and critiques are welcomed but flames will be met and retaliated upon by my ever quick to attack plot monkeys and their army of chimps. Be kind, be supportive, be helpful but do not be rude.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Eyeshield 21, Shin, Sakuraba or their change room (though I wouldn't mind being, say, the wall of the change room for one day after practice … ) I am so sorry for not updating sooner but school got in the way and ultimately, I didn't want to use this chapter because it's confusing and doesn't link very well but it is incredibly adorable and I couldn't write anything that equalled it in it's … cuteness.

Thank you everyone who has waited so long for me to make a decision on this chapter . Do enjoy...

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Sakuraba stood under the shower in the change room the following day, relishing in the warm water. The training session had brought him against Shin's spear tackle and he couldn't seem to get his body to align properly again. He was hoping that the hot water would relax his muscles enough to be able to at least stand up straight, and maybe make it home.

Walking towards the team room, and consequently the change room, Shin could feel his school mates watching him. It was a common occurrence and it never bothered him. Everyone seemed to be so enamoured by his physical size and his appearance that he just let them stare. Their attention meant nothing to him, he knew he was in good shape and that is all that has ever mattered to him, at least since he started playing American Football. When he reached the change room he noticed it was surprisingly empty for the afternoon. Realizing he had practiced at least a half an hour longer than everyone else, he shook his head and walked to his locker to get his towel and change out of his clothes for his shower.

Sakuraba started to twist around, testing his back, when he heard the door to the change room open. He immediately turned to face the wall because no matter what the others were like, he just wasn't as comfortable as everyone else when he was naked in such a public place. Sakuraba quickly threw a glance over his shoulder only to see Shin disrobing in the change room. He felt the nearly instantaneous rise of heat to his face at having seen Shin stripping down. Running his hands through his wet hair he inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly, trying to calm his anxious nerves.

It confused Shin why Sakuraba was standing motionless facing away from him in the shower when most of the others on the team would have at least turned around to say 'hi'. Thinking that maybe Sakuraba was mentally reviewing the practice, Shin left him to himself, and moved to the shower next to Sakuraba.

Shin must have gotten undressed really quickly because a few moments later Sakuraba heard him walking towards a shower. It was Shin's way to not talk to anyone unless talked to or required (for the most part) but Shin not talking was making Sakuraba nervous.

Turning on the water, Shin turned away from Sakuraba. He had his own things to reflect on but he couldn't just ignore Sakuraba, his friend, standing practically motionless under the water. Shin was starting to think that he was the reason Sakuraba had clamed up all of a sudden. It was common knowledge that, even though he had gone through innumerable photo shoots were he was half naked and smiling, Sakuraba didn't like to be naked in front of other people. Shin never could understand because he, himself, had never had a problem with it. Men were men were men were men, right? They all had the same anatomy even if some had more muscles than others. Irregardless, it wasn't like he ever had any feelings for anyone on his team. Takami, Sakuraba, Ootawara were just team mates, friends and school mates – never anything more so there were no issues with being naked in front of them. Mind you, had he been at say, Deimon, it may have been a different story.

For the next few seconds, while Shin adjusted the water, Sakuraba just stood under the water, calming both his raging hormones and his over active mind. It was he best kept secret that he was in love with 'The Great Shin Seijuro' and as badly as he wanted Shin to know, he didn't want to spoil the pseudo friendship and level of understanding and communication they had as team mates. Sooner or later he knew he would slip up but he was hoping and praying it wasn't when they were both naked in the team showers.

Shin couldn't stand the silence any more. Usually silence never bothered him, but this was the awkward silence that just hung there begging to be broken. "You're skin is going to look awful if you don't go dry off soon," was all he could think of to say, even if Sakuraba had required comfort or feedback. Shin never was a man of many words but at times like these, it was a serious disadvantage.

Sakuraba shook himself out of his daze and turned to look at Shin. He was running his hands through his hair, lathering it up with his shampoo, not even caring that he was naked and in plain view from the doorway. Sakuraba sighed and mumbled an incoherent response to Shin as he turned off the water. He wrapped his towel around his waste and turned to leave the showers when his foot hit a spot on the tiles that was slipperier than the rest.

Shin jerked his head up in surprise when he heard a smack against the tiles. Looking over, he saw Sakuraba curled up on the floor as though he was in pain. He hurried over to where Sakuraba lay and knelt beside him. "Are you okay?"

Sakuraba looked up to see Shin kneeling beside him – naked. He immediately hid his face in his arms again, tears of embarrassment now welling up in his eyes. He had forgotten that he was in the showers when he had fallen; in fact, he had also forgotten that Shin was in the showers as well. Now he was on the ground with Shin beside him, probably forgetting that he too is naked.

Shin tilt his head to the side in confusion at Sakuraba's response to his question. He didn't look like he was in pain but he didn't look normal. "Sakuraba?" he questioned again, hoping for a more verbal and less ominous response this time.

"Please," he heard Sakuraba whisper from beside him, "Shin, please just leave me be for now."

Upset and humiliated, Sakuraba wanted to be left alone to wallow in it. He didn't want to see Shin naked; he didn't want Shin to figure out his deepest secret. But at the same time, he wanted Shin to pull him into a hug; he wanted him to tell him everything was okay and that he felt the same. Sakuraba wanted all of that but he didn't want to pay the price of finding out his affections were not going to be returned.

Shin sighed, patted Sakuraba's shoulder lightly and stood up. "Sakuraba, I'm not leaving you on the cold tile floor. You could get sick and it will only frustrate your muscles, let alone the person who finds you just lying there. Let me help you stand up at the very least."

Sakuraba looked up at Shin yet again, only this time he looked the other man in the eyes. There was a hint of compassion and concern in Shin's eyes and that brought fresh tears to his eyes. He took the hand Shin offered him and felt himself be pulled standing. Surprisingly his towel stayed wrapped around his waste, keeping his groin covered. With a shy smile, he wiped the tears from his cheeks.

"What would I have done," he said with a laugh, "what would I have done if you hadn't been here to save me, oh mighty Shin?"

"You wouldn't have slipped."

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And that's it for this chapter. I think there will be one more chapter in total just because this has really dragged on and, well, I can't get much better than this.

Is everything starting to fall into place? Let me know!

Please read and review because, lets face it, I like that you like what I'm writing. In order for me to like the fact that you like this I need to know. In order for me to know, you need to read and review. My plot monkeys need some bananas, and your reviews are bananas

PS: Yes, I did post this for all of like 2 hours as a one shot before having a brilliant revelation to fit it into this bizarre story. So if it looks familiar, that is probably why.


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